there was nothing left behind,
at least that's what he told me.
checked and doubled,
under folded blankets,
coffee table mess.
only what you brought with you,
only what was salvaged.
"you'll never find me." he said,
"i belong here, i have a life here,
away from you."
this unwritten promise.
this unwritten curse.
and how i am, no longer caring.
and how i am, always aware.
broken by fallen fragments,
water rushing, blood rushing,
you walking out the door.
always left alone,
left with broken glass embedded in bone.
how my insides fought to be free,
return me to myself.
but you could not see,
you did not know,
and i forgave you that.
it was the way it poisoned you,
the way it changed you,
the way it blinded you.
but i forgave you everything.
even when i was unwhole, i forgave you.
even when i was dashed into the monsters, i forgave you.
and yet i cannot forgive myself.
